Just face it/find out out that i haven't been Self-Honest. i used all sorts of excuse like the system demon's video quoting his saying of my limited realization of what Self-Honesty is and cannot be defined[he's right i didn't see his perspective then] and equated as not being/hiding away from being Self-Honest. i was Self-Dishonest to myself all the way. |o|. yes, Self-Honesty cannot be defined because once it is defined/equivalent to be 'bounded' as Separated and that would not be Self-Honesty anymore because in Self-Honesty every form of Life in Existence is undefined and oneness equally as far as i realize so far but that i use it to justify as Self-Honesty is not definable and i was waiting for the right time until i can 'define' Self-Honesty. i tried Self-Honesty a few weeks ago, i feel hysteria but not based on oneness and Al[l]one not that i don't want to but like me though my mind get hysteria and become in self-centered hysteria not life centred so to speak. Self-Honesty is like the beingness/one way tool for me to express, bring mySelf there like through Self-Honesty there 'should' be always words to type and not like through the mind that 'now what? what should i type next?' ... all sorts of considerations and processing. i know Self is the way of expressing me - the true me to/through the words but i missed the Self-Honest as a tool/bridge to transport me - Self to as the words, similar to that.
It quite make sense in this way of seeing it, why would someone have noting to say? [i didn't see that until now here] when what he says is himself through self as self showing through as the words? Self always exist in that moment Self should just flow out 'endlessly' like but i missed the key point - Self-Honesty and Self was still locked up inside. from Self-Honesty should further step up to Life Honesty i presume that's why i abused Self-Honesty as self interested Honesty ... it is the bound of my current definition of Self and Life into Self as Life. Life-Honesty/Here Honesty is something that i just pop out in my head. i am/we are also being self-dishonest on being Here while it is the true beingness of us as far as i realize. it should be easier to handle things if i am Life-Honesty to avoid confusion with my ambiguous meaning of Self. i mean yes they are correct in saying Self as Life Here it is just my definitions.
So, in Life-Honesty i consider me as part of Life to act for the moments. like considering everything and effects for my acts on earth, nature, the chair that i am sitting, the keyboard everything i mean i have tried on self-honesty, to calculate everything in a split of seconds are 'difficult' and i was just 'having the idea' that you can't even 'ask' Life for can i do this |o| for that would be desires|o| and we cannot have desires|o|. however, it is not a totally sad emptiness future as Mykey's most insightful sentence to me 'i am the canvas and it is giving up nothing for everything'. i haven't truly realized that yet but yes, my common sense tells me so far everything in Desteni makes sense and it is working on mySelf and i am starting to see the difference for instance through mind and as Self. Translating did help me further 'imprint' what is being said that's why i see and especially work on Bernard's articles, they are so concise and yet profound in covering things in many aspects and i would recommend for the readers to come to read. i am not saying other beings are not worth reading but from my current state of chinese typings and working progress, i am not ready to translate them for the readers yet. i pick the most effective articles i see in causing worthiness/effects on to the public readers and i hold responsibilities for the words that i translate, yes, people misunderstood because of what they accepted and allowed in the past but i would like to Reflect them back the best i could, i am also creating my future events so to speak. if they 'allow' me to mislead them i am also creating the 'mislead' for me |o|... reminds me about Matrix III, when neo and the father matrix [|o| i was typing Master] speaks, he give all the answers but you don't know what the F*** he's talking about no matter how many times[as veno suggested] i re-watch that clip, it was just few minutes and he explained 'a lot'...typical even put the answer right in front of you and you won't even know what is means|o| how deceive and Self-Dishonest have we manifest to. he keeps saying Balance i was totally hey-wired now here i get what he means of Balance |o| ... everything begins when the balance was 'knocked off'[the initiate of the Big Bang i presume you can call it that way] and forgot through this long trip every being keep on shifting/pursuing to the Positive end and nobody wants to be the Negative end but the fact is both ends are the same - it's the same Life fragmented as Self. like we are naughty children and balance is the parent showing us with consequences. we keep looking ways to solve/improve our fantasy life but yet missed/have not consider it could/is the minors inside us like our accepted and allowed/thoughts that accumulate and manifest.
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