Self as Life Here

So, have change the direction again and this time is Self as Life Here. i will write with breathe and hear as Life Here and see would there be any difference. from translating the Drugs articles in the FAQ section, i realize something this time which lately i found that my approach before was from a perspective of just Reading and Understanding, not realizing in participating with the words as Winged has mentioned to make me realized and that was not efficient. it makes me understand the important of participation as being it mySelf and realize it hence Real-alize as my expression that counts. so, staying in understanding is separation as knowledge accept and allow based on oneness and equally and become as it as an self expression that is the way/key. i am like having lived many many 'lifes' and until now - here that i finally having some insights of what/how i created myself how i become of what i am now - here. what i mean is, look back at when i was a child, i wasn't obsessed to profound s**ual desires of more and deeper each time i was 'energized/so called satisfied', i 'enjoy/l**e' life - all sorts of them animals/plants, i like being with other children[not a protective full of scares system bag as i am now here] and i become as what i am now here without i actively realized it - gradually bit by bit. through movies, pron and outer stimulations/all sorts of glamorous goods in the outer world. and be Self-Honest if i can become as the likeness of what i currently being/as it is very likely that i will do the same with if i have any children of my own|o|.

Stimulation/Excitements/S**ual or Mast****te Desire is part of self as a form of System Beast that can consume you quick and efficiently if you are not in every moment of what you Accept/Allow inside you. the 'bad' of it is not the satisfaction that you feel the first time but the continuous asking for More however the same magnitude of pictures/sounds/feelings don't give you the same stimulations anymore - you get bored/tired of the same stuff so to speak and you go deeper and deeper and more torturing/bloody/explosion/horror scenes and sounds to stimulate your 'Excitement System'[very much like drugs] and in the process you Accepted and Allowed yourself to be programmed in pursuing of the Outer World which is just a few drop of water to quell the 'Higher Energetic Stage of Self through system Beingness' and before long enough you pursuit for the same 'feeling' again through deeper and more torturing/bloody/explosion/horror by all means you can calculate/think/dig out from. That IS a ENDLESS PIT only now here that i realize that and has to be Sorted out. in the Programming process we lost the focus on the enjoyment of Breathe as Self as Life Here and ignoring the existence and keep pursuing our own Excitement/Higher Energetic Beingness - madly. no ki**er/ra**st/chi** mole**** were born like that, no one[at least i don't] proclaim they aim at being a torturing/bloody/explosion/horror addict most of them if not all begin with 'no way i won't become those perverts i know myself can control myself' yet that was just an underestimated statement for the beginning of 'Accepted and Allowed diverting from Life Here as Existence's process of programming self to Pursuit of Energetic Excitement/Higher Beingness' and this is a summarized statement of how we have become and reflected in our outer Madness World.

Is there Life Here in the RollerCoaster? no we just built some more Excited ones to stimulate us even more. is there Self as Life Here in S** and Mast****tion? no, we just robotically doing in pursuing whatever means to achieve more and Higher Energetic Beingness through system as us - no Life Here involved as we don't even care for the symptoms/signals that our body has 'told' us he/she can't sustain more and need a rest. Is there Life Here in the food that we eat? no, same here MSG for Higher Energetic Excitement Beingness. the movies, no Life Here inside just more and more Pervert Stimulations. in what i realize is it is not the things that we participate in but the Nature of why we are participating it For - what we were are at through the Participation. Ultimately these all will need to be Transcended if not give up but hey i mean what you accepted and allowed you gradually become that as yourself and a BONUS how you treat Existence is how you will be Treated in your Up Coming days in your Future.

Add/Accept and Allow Self as [All]Life Here as Existence in everything you participate and ultimately that will Manifest and current accepted and allowed madness stop. Start Enjoy Appreciate and Participate Self as Life Here as Existence in every moment. while you eat, sleep, write, read/realize, act ... to name a few.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pursuit of outer World Higher Energetic Beingness instead of Self as Life Here.

I forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize what i accept and allowed in me will manifest me being as that in that direction being one and euqual to it gradually.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed ignoring self as Life Here and pursuit my own Energetic Higer Beingness and ignore everything else around me including the thoughts/my body/nature/animals/earth - petroleum/electricity while they are part of me and i am part of them in oneness but i haven't realized.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the pursuit of Higher Energetic Beingness and gradually become obsessed in torturing/bloody/horror scenes and sounds to generate more and more Energy through the sacrifice of my Physial Body Matter converted to energy to satisfy me through as the mind/systems.

I forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that sex, masturbation and higher energetic beingness known as excitements is a Endless Pit and no Exit no End no Solution just delve in deeper and next time more and more for the same level of stimulated excitements and not realized that Self as Life Here IS the Solution that i am searching for but i was not Awareing of it in my every moments.

I forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that every thoughts/acts/not acts have consequences and i will experience myself as how i treat existence know currently as others.

I forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that i was un-awareingly walking to the path of a Higher Energetic Beingness Pervert through accepted and allowed through thoughts and acts to the road of becoming a killer/rapist/molester and i stop now here before it is too late.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to perform, operate, process, enjoy, excited about, being as Self as Life Here as Existence.