Monday, December 31, 2012

Day 68 - Chinese Consumerism, Consequence Dimension


Physical reaction:

* High blood pressure

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have high blood pressure response exist within and as me when I look at the goods behind the shopping windows, instead of directing myself in every moment.

I commit myself to stay in breathe and not live in the projecting future of how I am going to enjoy it or how beautiful/handsome/attractive I'd look like.


Consequence when standing in front of Shops' Windows:

I forgive myself haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that my desires for consumerism is making everyone in the world suffer in pain. Whenever there is a price cut there is no miracle but someone(usually the workers's wages) must take the blow and someone/their family will get hurt or even starve to death.

I commit myself to consider and think for best for all before consuming as every purchase there is a consequence for me to take. I commit myself to willing to take the consequence for that purchase.

I forgive myself haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that everything is me and I do what is best for all instead of self-interest enjoyment while buying. Earning more money/Using money to buy is actually enslaving others to produce goods/do the works for me.

I commit myself to let others understand /realize, how we treat anything/others are exactly how we are treating ourselves because they are us.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Day 63 Chinese Culture and Religion – a Journey to Life: Chinese Consumerism Part 1


Source: http://www.climatespectator.com.au/commentary/consumerist-china-it-sustainable


Introduction:
This is an article about whether Chinese consumerism is sustainable. Most people think it is impossible for 1.3billion of Chinese to live like Western developed countries. To sustain capitalism/consumerism most Chinese need to stay as factory workers/slaves. Because if all this 1.3 billion of people upgrade their living equivalent as an developed countries living style as masters, we do not have enough people on earth to serve the Chinese as masters. Most of us Totally missed the point that we need so many slaves because of greediness and where good are deliberately made to breaks as soon as possible, for self-interest profit. If we continue to live in a capitalistic/consumerism way of living then yes, we won’t have enough people to serve the Chinese, but within an Equal Money system where everyone is being taken care of equally. No more unequal or self-interest profits is allowed/needed then everything will be made from the starting point of best for all. The profit system is based on the slaves that are needed and there is no way to sustain 1.3 billion Chinese to keep on consuming and the writer believes that the Chinese consumerism is not sustainable and bring no feasible solution to the readers.

As most people have totally missed the point - the products that we have these days do not tend to break sooner because of scientific break through, these goods are deliberately made this way so businessmen/corporations can have more and more lucrative profits as money is sucked from the consumers. People only care about how I can make more money in self-interest, instead of how we can make the product more durable. The technology is already here. The products are not made as durable as it can be, because of elitist self-interest where people do not care about and support each other. Without solving the root evil of greediness, without installing a new Equal Money system, humanity and the earth is on a self-destruct course and it won't be long until we destroy ourselves.

In China, as more and more people rise up in their living standards, the more our earth is running towards self-destruction, because the earth simply cannot sustain that many people to live like this. This is true under a capitalistic system where people/capitalists just consume, consume and consume. We are totally lost in greediness and the desire for more and more money. We are never satisfied and keep wanting more and more and this has become a sickness that not many people are aware of.

What I want to point out is we don't need to live like this where we need slaves. We all can live like millionaires with a house, with clean and healthy food and everyone can laugh and enjoy everyday. It is not a fairly tale, this can actually be lived/ implemented using an Equal Money system. We have the technologies to make the best cars that can last 100 or even 150 years, it is not here because everyone believe in Free markets and lying/cheating to each other by making the products most prone to breaking and this we sell to each other! That's why we all need to work so hard to serve those that have money above us. Earth doesn't have to be hell/capitalism, we don't have to keep consuming, to throw away, then consume again, throw away and repeat cycles like this. We can throw away at a minimal level and all live heaven on earth! We don't have to compete and fight to every last man's standing for survival.

I will walk my self-forgiveness on the main points, taken from the article:

Dodge the gridlock of new cars as you're crossing the recently constructed six-lane Tibet Rd onto Nanjing road proper. Quite suddenly, thousands of black haired people bustle around you humming like bees in this hive of neon stimulation. Families gaze in wonder at a blue illuminated aquarium window display in a department store. A giant screen blares advertisements 20 metres above your head. Young people in brightly coloured outfits sit in Starbucks, laughing over iced coffee and comparing bargains.”



Q: What are the families looking for?


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed to feelings/energies/colors and desires to look beautiful or handsome in attracting the next sex victim. I commit myself to not directed by colors and energies.

I forgive myself haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that the greatest enjoyment is Life and physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for energy/stimulation/colors and think continuous stimulation is living,, I commit myself to live stability with/as physical and breathe/Life is living.

Next I will be looking at the components of a Character/Personality in the Mind, it consist of the dimensions of Fear, Thought, Imagination, Backchat/Internal Conversations, Reactions (emotions/feelings) and also a Behavioural System. So, we will as we continue within our Blog, now and then walk some Character/Personality examples and how to assist/support self from Character/Personality control, to self-aware living in the Physical.
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/character-dimensions-introduction-day.html

First I will walk examples of the Backchat Dimension: “This is where one would have conversations with oneself as a Personality in the Mind. Thus, Internal Conversations/Backchats would come up/manifest as words, sentences, short statements that can vary in length/intensity.

Backchat:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have backchats like "oh how attractive I would be when I have that dress!" instead of I commit myself to live Equally with everything here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it is embarrassing, I cannot survive and would have no friends if I wear old clothes. I would show that I am poor. I commit myself to only act and dress for best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my friends will leave me if I don't dress new clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare and judge others and backchat inside me saying: How ugly that person looks/dress like! when they do not dress align to celebrities, I commit myself to treat everyone's living style/dressing as an expressing here and they are all me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/value people on the feelings that they can generate  through how they look and how they dress. I commit myself to see/value everything as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to back chat that I'd look/feel better through consuming and I didn't give a damn about existence or earth. I commit myself to show those that are willing to listen that consumerism/energy/feelings are not the key to life, breathe is Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the backchat of: I want it! I want it! I want it! and just want to fulfill my desires. I only care about how I can feel better instead of  I commit myself to learn/live what is best for all and give up specialty as everything/everyone is me.


Reactions when standing in front of Shops' Windows:

Excitement
Jealous
Hate

Excitement:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dive into the energetic feelings and desire for the goodies showing in the windows, having energetic emotions instead of I commit myself to stay here with the physical and satisfied in breath and look for fun within existence as me playing in different roles.

I forgive myself fro accepting and allowing myself to define excitement as experiencing new goods without considering best for all or how the workers need to be enslaved to produce goods for me to enjoy. I commit myself to not participate in the desires but only consider what is best for all and taking my self-responsibility as part of existence, as part of Life and treat everyone/everything as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to build my excitement based on abusing Life and others instead of make as durable as possible products so that everyone can enjoy real heaven on earth. I commit myself to show those willing to listen that we are all from the same source as Life and we should give others as what we would like to receive as everyone is me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only look for energy and keep using shopping to fulfill my desires and energy experience instead of realizing that energy is not real and it is not Life. and hence I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to feelings. I commit myself to live as physical as Life and not addicted to feelings and energies.


Reactions when standing in front of Shops' Windows:

Excitement
Jealous
Hate

Jealous:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous of those that have the money and can buy all the goodies from stores. I commit myself to stand for oneness and equality and show others that everything that we do/don't do have consequences that we need to face after we die.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself with others that have all the money to buy all these goodies in stores, while disregarding Life is being abused continuously on Earth. I commit myself to show others that we can all live in heaven taking our self-responsibility and give as what we would like to receive.

Hate:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others for having lots of money to spend on purchasing goods showing behind the shopping windows and it is unfair for me to have no money to spend and I am not happy with that. I commit myself to learn/show others that everything I do or not do have consequences and without self-refrained desires is not real and will only destroy myself causing pain and sufferings in the future.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put all my angriness into hate and jealous of people that can have lots of money to buy stuffs instead of realizing there are consequences of every act of how I treat others/anything in this world/existence. I commit myself to be satisfied with the physical and don't let my desires/energy run lose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be envious of rich people and always want to take over their money/place, instead of always take care/consider everyone/everything equally. I commit myself to put in what I have/can contribute to make heaven on earth for everyone/children to come.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think have millions of dollars and having the right to buy whatever I want and just throw things away is happiness. I commit myself to realize money is just a tool and enslaving others through money as "buying" has serious consequences as everything is me. How I treat others is how I will be treated in the future.

In the next Blog I will walk the Imagination, Thought and Fear Dimensions. 



Day 62 - Chinese Culture and Religion - a Journey to Life, Introduction



Why I would write a blog for Chinese cultures, Religions and Societal Practices? I feel that many Chinese or most of us currently are totally lost in the dream of living according to an American Life style, which is totally built based on money and enslaving other third world countries, including China. However, we don't care and as long as we can get our piece of pie in the upper elite class, as long as we can have our little heaven, we don't care. Just like the Jews that are very smart in doing business (which are based on deceits and lies), we don't care about anyone else in the world.

I want to find out why and change myself through self-forgiveness, while at the same time using this blog to create awareness about the current self-destructing human nature in consumerism. Hopefully someone who still has a conscious inside them will stand up for Life, join Desteni and myself and walk this process together.

I also want to change my past, self-forgive myself for being superstitious in worshiping religions (and want to get a reward after I die or continue to exist), I used to worship because of fear of death, want to find a way continue to exists after I die – Also many Chinese are lost in the religious domains convinced by all sort of rumors and stories that we don't totally understand or not totally true. 



Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My Whining and Jealousy



Whining:

I whine a lot. Whenever I see something that is too much to ask/no way I can do it in my mind then I would whine and want to get help/rather quit and save time and effort. I also have no confidence in me of capable of handling these tasks. I too trust my mind in processing/calculating/estimating the outcome instead of common sense. I believe my calculations are absolutely right and can help me avoid wasting time and effort in doing achieving things. I also use whining to try to get help or negotiate to lower the workload. Like in sales, after a few encounters I felt it was so difficult! I couldn’t do it, no way people are going to part their money to buy our product. At first I think it is just a way to exert my frustration and complain something that is told to do something unachievable, now I know I am try to give up. So I was complaining and thinking complaining can quell my emotions and I would feel better. I also think it is justice/righteous that I should complain/whine because it is not fair for me to handle/try to achieve tasks that are too much for me to handle. I would rather save my breathe and do something else that I will succeed.

Like going door knocking in sales, I think it is a waste of time since there is no trust amongst the client and me that it is very likely that they will not buy from me. I told myself(back chats): No, I don’t want to do door knocking. I knew they are not going to buy from me at the beginning, why bother to go through all the troubles/turmoil and waste my time and effort!? I just have this trust in my mind/ego that how I access my problems instead of using common sense like, I will improve my skills when I do more presentation and meet/see more people. What I fear is they do not buy, having me dressed up nicely and do all sort of work and presentations and at the end they don’t buy. Not just I need to wash my shirts/pants at the end of the day and I got no income at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself whenever I feel/see the things are so so difficult and not fun then I use whining to try to manipulate others to victimize me and help me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to whine/complain/nag and think it would help me to make me feel better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place trust in my mind to access the situation instead of seeing it in common sense way, using common sense to guide me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use backchats as nagging to defend my ego/mind that I am always right and confirm it is a waste of my time.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize that actually nothing is predictable not even the mind and everyone’s response is different.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I can’t do it, I can’t do sales or door knocking because I can’t convince/manipulate people to have trust and like me and buy from me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use whining as an excuse of not working/trying in sales instead of realizing without trying I can never improve my skills.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it is righteous/justice to whine when I am being assigned an too difficult tasks that I cannot handle instead of looking in a fun way to try.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself at what I can achieve and using whining to give up instead of always expanding myself and trying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit/hang on to my ego/mind and complain/whine instead of realizing nothing is predictable in existence.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to try play with sales and see it in a fun game.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself when my father was being absurd in commanding me to do things, I was so small that the only thing I can do is whine and hopefully he can change his mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use whining to manipulate people/my father because else I would need to do the works like living in hell.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself thinking whining/nagging can gain/manipulate other people’s sympathy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to give up and trust my mind before even trying.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to adjust my course using common sense and learn from my hard work mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that people don’t trust/like me and won’t buy from me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect fear to people don’t trust/like me and won’t buy from me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rather save my breathe, whine and not trying than no fear and learn it the fun way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use whining to self-pity and use that as an excuse to exert my blame and frustration instead of realizing I am simply angry at myself and I shouldn’t use whining as an excuse to exert and blame on others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not willing to work hard to learn.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in backchats and whining to blame/manipulate others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use whining as a protest instead of thinking a common sense way to improve myself or how to tackle the situation in a more effective way.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself wanting to acquire other’s sympathy, support and comfort and support my later give up so I whine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear of facing me being failed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect fear to being failed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself because it feels extremely bad when I fail so I stop trying instead of realize trying is educating myself/me learning.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to don’t want to learn how to stand up again because I have failed so many times in the past instead of realizing maybe I failed continuously because I didn’t learn from my mistakes.

When and as I see myself as staring to whine, I stop and breathe. I realize whining is not helping me in anyway in solving the problem. I realize if there is a problem that I need to find an effective way to solve it. I realize whining is the prelude of me giving up. I commit  myself to stop whining, don’t use whining to manipulate others for support/sympathy, stand up inside myself and find an effective way to tackle the problem.

I flag the point of when I start backchating: It’s too difficult for me. I stop and breathe and not participating in the mind.
I flag the point of backchating: I can’t do it. I stop and breathe and look for ways common sensely in how to tackle the problem effectively.

I flag the point when I start frustrating, I stop and breathe and remind myself it is me that is angry at myself, it has nothing to do with other people involved or the problem itself. I don’t participate in the mind and stay in breathe.



Jealousy:


I remember I develop jealousy ever since I was a small child, that when my brother has a beautiful wife I have a feeling of jealous. I felt I want to have a wife like her and he doesn’t deserve it. When I was in school when I see some of the rich classmates have all sort of toys, at first I was desperately admire and want to please them in return to play some of their video games and toys. Later it sometimes become jealousy. When I was in US studying, I was jealous of Caucasian’s(especially blonds) look, that I was suppressing it inside me that why they have such a nice look and I don’t. Jealous to people that are attractive.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel superior, inferior, compare, self-judging causing jealousy exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have nasty thoughts, gossips and spitefulness wanting to kill/destroy others that are more handsome/beautiful than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous to my brother’s wife instead of realizing that everyone is me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compete with people that are more beautiful than I do and want to win.
I forgive myself haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize image and colors are just energy/feelings and everyone is actually me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by jealousy and support the mind instead of living equality in all ways.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my brother doesn’t deserve a “beautiful” wife.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself try to manipulate my classmates for toys and video games.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous of classmates that have lots of money and toys instead of realizing there is a consequence for enslaving others with money for self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be spiteful and having nasty thoughts of destroying Caucasian’s that look more attractive than I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and being as jealousy, spitefulness and nasty thoughts against others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it is justice for me to have nasty thoughts and jealousy to people around me instead of realizing everything has justice it just takes time because how they treat others are actually how they treat themselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous to boys/men that win the hearts of the girls I like instead of living what is best for all and realize they are all me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use jealousy, spitefulness and nasty thoughts to balance myself out thinking no one can see my thoughts instead of living equality and always doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself for haven’t accepted and allowed myself to compare and spite others that look more handsome/beautiful than me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in separation and live jealous, spitefulness gossip and hate on others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act like my aunt and my grandmother to spite and think spiting can harm others or make me feel more comfortable and lost in separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think jealousy is a natural act.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite others and throw tantrum instead of realizing everything is actually me and I need to always do what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think the girl that I like I already possess her and having a relationship with her that when she ends up with another boy then I become jealous and spiting him, instead of living for best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare and self-judge these boys and feeling inferior and superior about them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself live and directed by inferior to the boys whose girls I am fond of like but at the same time want to be superior to and spite them.

When and as I see myself starting to compare, self-judging, feeling inferior and superior about a boy/men whose girl I like is fond of, I stop and breathe. I realize everything is me and it is not wise to jealous of myself. I realize I should always do what is best for all not just what I like. I realize I am learning to become Life.

When and as I see myself starting to feel jealous and spiteful to the boys/men, I stop and breathe. I realize everything is me and I shouldn’t be jealous of myself. I realize jealousy is the nastiest act and I have to face the consequence of living with/facing myself.

I commit myself to stop being jealous, spiteful and nasty to everything in existence.
I commit myself to stop comparing and self-judging other boys/men.
I commit myself to live for what is best for all.
I commit myself to experience/explore/have fun with what is everything is me equally.
I commit myself to learn from what the boys/men that are showing me that I can improve myself on.

I flag the point when I start having nasty thoughts, I stop and breathe and remind myself breathe and don’t participate in the mind, don’t feed the mind with nasty thoughts and jealousy. It is not about possessing someone or having relationships, it is about what is best for all.

I flag the point when I start being spiteful or gossip to the boys/men. I stop and breathe and remind myself don’t spite and everything is me.


Friday, June 29, 2012

怎樣有效練習新的 Masturbation方法


三四年前看了 Desteni "實際(practicality)"教導新的 Masturbation, 今天又和 Andrea談起. 她建議我把這些都寫在博上, 好讓其他人都可以參考.

首先要停止 Masturbation是很需要自我意志和技巧的. 最主要是留在身体裏的能量得不到釋放, 困在身体裏. 所以我發現, 實際的呼吸是很有效的幫助當癮發作時是很有效的來帶動這些体內的能量. 透過深呼與吸會感到一種沉下去的感覺, 而這樣幾下就回復穩定下來. 然後不要去想這些思想就會解決了難纏的 Masturbation癮.




還有就是看 "實際" 的http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-urGzHO3uN8 視訊. 還有 DesteniChineseTD裏面也有關於新自我表現的 Masturbation視訊. 在現階段, 對我來說, 以自我表現形式而不是能量性的 Mastrubation是有點困難理解/掌握的. 因為沒有能量就好像喝沒有味精的湯. 是另一種感覺/感受. 而起初一直用双手互相磨擦是沒有什麼異樣的感覺的.




Andrea 亦建議我嘗試擁抱自己然後看有什麼 Backchat 反應. 我對擁抱自己的感覺是温暖, 完滿和舒服. 然後把這種感覺應用在双手和身体其他部份的磨擦. 我對擁抱自己的 backchat是假如我媽或其他人看見我, 會對我有什麼看法嗎? 會使我更困難走我的進程嗎? 別人會以為我是同性戀或自戀嗎?


當一呼一吸的時候, 体內的能量會隨着呼吸而流動. 因此不會大量的積聚在体內.


我宽恕自己接受容許自己被別人和我媽對我的看左右我的進程, 而不是以全体最大得益而做決定.


我宽恕自己接受容許自己害怕被別人看見擁抱我自己, 以為我是怪胎/異類.


我宽恕自己接受容許自己覺得只有低等不吸引/孤獨的人才會擁抱自己. 


我宽恕自己接受容許自己接受 Masturbation是理所當然, 然而擁抱自己郤是尷尬的, 而不是盡一切力量停止自慰.


我宽恕自己接受容許自己害怕擁抱自己會因此失去尋找伴侶的機會, 而不是視所有一切都是我自己.


新的 Masturbation 系列有詳細說明怎樣運用 Masturbation 成為一種不用圖像來剌激的以我所知打開物質與物質融合的一種方法.




到現時為止就是覺得一種比較着重在物質性的感覺多於能量性的感受. 而正在鑽研物質性的感受與物質的快感. 把物質的一体平等感覺變成一種興奮.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

2012 - Participating in Education Expo.



I thought about writing this in Chinese but I want Cam and other TechnoTutor folks can read my sharing here. Besides, I haven't write in English for a long long time now. I heard from Cam that writing everything out(emotions, fears etc.) can help release and direct myself in the future when I face similar situation again. So here I am writing out all my experiences inside me during the 2 days Journey being part of the team in the  TechnoTutor booth.

At first I thought it will be fun and great I can sharpen my skills and meet lots of people. Having a lot of fun or stuffs to look at, it will be a fabulous experience. However when I get there it's totally not what I expected. People are just rushing around and looking mainly for books. They don't have time to chit chat with me. Avery told us have to have fun because they can sense us inside and I have difficulties in putting my fun personality suit on. I mean I don't find fun there. I was there to practice my skills however half of the people I say hi to ignore me, others say hi back. Only 1 in 10 are willing to stay and look at what I am presenting. I judge myself: according to my current skill and English ability, how I am going to arouse their interest in our product? There is no way! I am wasting my effort. However, I haven't realized this is learning. Learning requires time and effort.


So I force myself to walk on the aisle practicing my smile like an idiot. I confess that I feel good afterwards when I have improved my smiling. But it was embarrassing and pointless to me to approach other booths and pretend that I am interested in their product. I have backchats like: That would be cheating! I am using them to promote my products. That would be lying or I feel like I am hurting another me. When they find out I am using them. I didn't realize if the point is for best for all then it is ok, they should have forgive me. I also have a lot of worries like if they find out the truth of I am using them. I better hide or not approaching them to avoid they find out my truth of using them for sales. I became reluctant to move forward or even try learning. I only feel good when I see myself improved or when I got happy feedback.

I know I can't just let this golden opportunity pass by so I force myself to approach a few counters. Forcing me to talk to them. Ask about the products. Pretending that I am interested in their products. I feel guilt inside me of not wanting their products but faking my interest in theirs. Always have this I am lying haunting me at my back. I don't know how to handle this guilt of I am using them, even for Best for all.

Till now, I do feel better after writing my fear, worries and guilt out. I have written stuffs inside me before and I do feel Tremendous Amount of release afterwards. Like they just disappear/vaporized. Funny that writing these things out feel like doing self-forgiveness. I feel relax(Yes, we can't just say relax or force ourselves to relax and then suddenly our body will feel better. No, I found that I need to self-forgive myself properly to really feel relax and pleasure). I feel like I am ready for a fresh start.


SF:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be perfect inside all the people in the education expo's eyes.

I forgive myself haven't allowed myself to realize when I starting point is best for all, it is ok even for manipulation.

I forgive myself haven't allowed myself to practice and live self-honesty as acting for Best for all instead of just being honest to myself and I don't care how others are suffering and dying because of no money on earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my honesty guilt direct me instead of being self-honest.

I forgive myself haven't allowed myself to realize it is not hurting anyone by me but for Best for all even hurting another is ok and acceptable since I am doing for Best for all, I can take the consequence of that.

I forgive myself haven't allowed myself to realize it is not about lying but packaging myself to be acceptable/presentable to others in the booths.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be selfish and don't want the consequence of manipulation and feeling guilt and rather someone take the consequence instead of realizing I should always do what is best for all, even including manipulation.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be dominated by my honest guilt instead of learn from my mistakes and change myself being effective in doing what is best for all.


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Voip 與平等富裕! 所有服務與產品都是 "免費"的可能嗎?



連續三天在跟家裏的 Voip拼摶. 買了個 linksys 的 SPA3102(我常常都拼錯它的型號). 其實跟買手機的情形是一樣的. 這個品牌有這樣的優點, 那個有這些優點但全都各自有缺點而且不會耐用. 我也不想每兩三年就丟棄一大堆電子產品, 我也不想購買, 但沒有辨法. 在現時的資本/個人利潤主義的世界裏, 我也需要省錢, 我也需要 "生存".

Voip 本來是一個只有在資本主義的環境下才會出現的東西. 就只是為了省電話費. 我們温哥華一個月要付 $28加元的家用電話線. 我們已經是幾年後等技術較成熟時才考慮轉用. 首先, 在平等富裕金錢系統下, 所有人都會有一條電話線(包括手機). 然後會用為全体最大利益, 最優良的質料和科技(因為所有專利都不再存在, 所有真正的科研都是為全体人類及存在裏一切而研究, 不再分你我他或彼此). 然後所有現時需要付費的功能都變成免費. 所有維護都是所有人共同承擔. 因為這是為支援所有人類, 是一項必需的服務.


其次像我每次購買任何東西, 都因為怕被廠商欺騙而連續做一個星期的工課, 查看個品牌的產品是最 "相宜". 這樣的浪費每一個人的時間和精神的工課, 在平等富裕金錢裏都不再需要. 就像我這次已經讀了很多網上的報告, 還是搞出這麼大的麻煩出來. 是製造商 Linksys 的 ATA處理回音的軟件出了問題, 而夠完善. 而它們就只一直繼續賣. 還推搪說是用家不會調較. 事實是現在的大企業都畜意的令產品不完善, 而迫使我們消費者每幾年就需要換掉. 在平富金錢裏, 這些都不再需要擔心. 所有產品出現問題, 每一個人都會得到免費最好, 最完善的更新和補救. 因為, 我們是不分彼此都是真正的 "一家人". 我們人類在存在裏是一体的. 共同彼此承擔和享樂和責任. 其中一個捱餓/受傷就是全人類捱餓/受傷. 一個小孩享的樂/食物/住屋就是所有小孩全人類都平等享有的樂/食物/住屋 - 這就是平等富裕金錢!


在平等富裕金錢下, 我們完全不需要擔心會否買貴了, 或需要做大量的研究才能夠下決定買那一個品牌的產品. 如果真的不幸壞了會免費得到更換或修理. 也不需要害怕會花太多錢在不必要的價格上, 因為錢不再是生存的必須品 - 不再是個人貪婪的工具體, 而是一個導向我們走往天堂在地球的工具. 不再害怕其他人是不可信頼, 不再害怕鄰居是可怕和互相利用的, 一切都是平等互相幫助逹至實際天堂在地球, 為全体最大得益為出發點. 讓每一個小孩子都能夠不需要擔心金錢, 成年人工作 4-6年就可以免費得到所有最精密/優良的產品, 更多的時間與大自然和家庭起, 探訪鄰居, 一起把工作變成有越的娛樂. 真正的路不需要拾遺, 夜更不需要閉户的天堂在地球! 小孩子可以真正天真快樂地成長!


Monday, May 28, 2012

電影歸途列車! 中華民族渴望幾千年的好日子究竟在那裏?! (2)




每個人都沉醉在幻想自已怎樣可以讓此生透過越多的商品, 嘗試滿足無責任殆盡一切的購物欲/多重自我表現/性/快感. 而這些是我們大部份人如果不是 Desteni是不會亦不知道怎樣找這些資料來學習的. 在看得到的檻房裏的人是會想盡辨法脫離的, 這些精英們都十分清楚, 而是給閉上眼一直沉醉在自已的幻想心智腦海裏的人, 連自已被困在四邊形的牆(就如現時的科舉/八股制, 或醫生/律師彩池裏)也不自知的, 才是最容易被預編程的羊群.


最深刻的一句就是, 在第三集: 你不能沒有改變個人的層面, 就能夠改變社會(系統). 而這就是我過往一直忽略了的. 也是為什麼 Bernard說需要耐性, 像對病人一樣. 我過往就是一直潛意識上想跳過個人改變的層面而推動社會的改變. 我發覺這是不行的, 行不通的. Bernard說是透過每一個人的想法改變才會和平地帶出改變. 帶出個人和社會/政治層面是相輔相成的. 除此以外一切其他方法都只會導至暴力(像佔領華爾街, 六七十年代的反越戰暴動). 而歴史不斷証明給我們的祖父母, 父母, 我們自已, 甚至我們的兒女看 -- 一切不守法的抗爭都注定失敗的. 只有透過政治/參政(政綱/提倡的新法令 -- 如我們的平等富裕金錢法)才能夠帶出改變. 看看, 我們每個人都一直在投票, 從三國時代的諸候制, 帝皇群臣制, 軍阀蟻民制, 到現時部份國家的民主制, 我們一直在投票/支援着不同的政府/理念. 而我們支援/投給的叫做 "平等富裕金錢". 沒有得到大多數人的投票/支援, 精英是沒有可能得到實質權力的. 盡管他們正籌備七八年後的大戰, 我們每個人都是他們冷漠/冷血的反映, 我們過往的容許和接受才是罪魁禍首, 而每一個人都想坐在他們掌權無盡財富的位置. 把責任全怨責在精英們身上是自我不誠實, 沒有承認/領悟到所有一切都是我. 我們本是一体的, 耶穌的名言: (不要)只看見別人眼中有刺,卻不想想自己眼中有樑木.


製造商品的痛苦代價. 我們會一件用的手機/商品/衣服全都需要透過奴役其他沒有錢的人的血汗/慘痛經歷來建成的. 沒有奴隸根本沒有人會在工廠裏每天奴役 8-10個小時. 所以我們對身邊一切的慘況/他們的憤怒是要直接/間接負上自我責任的. 所以在購買任何商品前, 你們同意為了這個世界和自己將來的報應, 我們是需要衡量我是否需要這件產品, 和承受死後面對這些工人為生產這件貨品所受的痛苦? 我的決定/行為是否符合平等生命的守則?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

2012 電影歸途列車 - 1



昨晚開始有感冒了, 但因為病毒其實是在協助我們把身体裏面的系統連根拔起(uprooting)的. 所以沒有吃藥. 現時這個世界的藥, 特別是西藥都是為了賺錢而增強你体內的系統, 包括心智系統(mind)而製成的. 我還記得當我是小孩的時候,那時藥還是很貴的. 所以我們不嚴重的病是不會服藥的. 每次病完後都會感覺換然一身的感覺. 這是真的. 所以這已是我第三次不吃藥, 就只是休息和放鬆身体讓感冒菌做它們的工作.

已有一段時間沒有寫 blog了. 很多時候我都在想, 現在真的沒有多少個人在看我十寫的 blog, 我真的值得花時間來寫嗎? Bernard說 patience, 叫我要有耐性. 在這麼急的時期, 只有七年多八年的時間. 而所有人都 "滿意"現時的資本奴隸系統. 我已經不停做了將要四年了. 還是這渺渺可數的數個人在參與. 十的次方在開頭真的是這樣的嗎?

歸途列車是一套完全令我看了以後, 開始明白在內地的農民面對着怎樣的搾壓, 低下工人怎樣為錢而拼命為生存為兒女, 希望在資本賭塲裏終有一天奇蹟能夠降臨自已的兒女身上, 考取好成績, 搖身一變成為大醫生, 大律師, 大老板. 好讓他們和自已能夠脫離苦海. 我覺得一般人就是缺乏用常識(common sense)來看事物.讀書已經變成了每天買的廉價彩票. 而不是找出一個所有人都得到平等照顧, 平等教育, 平等工作和娛樂的社會 -- 這就是每個人只需工作四至六年就一生的住屋, 飲食, 基本衛生/醫療, 交通都得到保證. 或許有人會問你憑什麼來保證?? 我會說, 你存在銀行的錢他們又憑什麼對你保證?? 是包裝? 外表? 你每四年投票選一次的總統對你的保證/承諾有那一條不是反臉不認帳?? 只不過在經濟好的時候大家就 "忘記了", 消條時就拿他們來消氣. 一邊罵一邊說自已無奈.


首先, 如 Bernard說, 一百個貧人裏面有一兩個可以擠身上流的大醫生, 大律師社會. 這不叫做成功故事, 這是 "貧人透過讀書中了彩票而大事宣揚". 然後, 常識就是, 那剩下來的 98個人又怎樣了? 這就是資本競爭主義的精粹 - 放棄全体最大得益而全体供養 5%的巨富, 精英(elite). 置其餘 95%的人死活不顧, 讓他們自生自滅/餓死. 只拼命說: 老天𤕖眷顧我, 保估我一家將來有好日子過(升級). 那其他人的好日子呢? 我們現在的世界是一個兩極對立的系統, 因為你一家升了級那因而要代替你家的貧賤級的那幾個人又怎樣了?

然後實際在背後操縱一切的精英, 真的會讓大多數人升級嗎?? 這根本是不可能的事. 在一班讀八股文/醫科/法律的學生中有可能一半以上的人都變成醫生/律師嗎? 事實證明不會. 真正成功的就只有幾個.


歸途列車還讓我看到我們活在的民主只是一個假象, 只是一個讓精英對群眾更容易被引導投出預定結果的投票綿羊. 這其實是另一套 Bernard 叫我們務必要看和明白的紀錄片: BBC 的 The Century of the Self (BBC 探求自我的世纪). 字幕可以在這裏 http://www.9sub.com/sub/88238/1下載(中第一二, 英字全四集). 只要把視訊和字幕檔用相同的名字命名(但請保留 .srt)放在同一個欄裏播就可以了. 重點在第三和四集, 解釋政治組織/精英怎樣利用表面上是民主, 而事實是透過廣告誘發每一個人, 透過購買來完成不同形式的自我表現/体驗(能量性快樂). 有滑水表現, 有時裝的表現, 有動感紅色跑車的表現, 有金色手機的表現. 而民主在潛意識裏除了把注意力分散在林林種種五光十色的商品上, 還把投票權變成了投給誰最能哄騙你可以給你更多錢/購買力的演講.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

2012 - 今天領悟精英也領悟不了的問題 - 凶湧暴民 (2)




最終導至如電腦革命後, 現在的情況:

1 個 精英/大企業: 我省減最少的人力, 生產更多的產品, 得到更多的利潤/錢即是收集勞動力. 沒有石油了, 我希望透過世界大戰銳減全球人口, 期望自已可以殘存到最後一秒(上流人仕). 我更大力的濫虐地球和開採僅餘的石油.


2 個 工人/農夫: 因為有人被 "裁員"了, 我有壓力而且精英/大企業用裁員做要有助脅我們, 為了生存, 工作量大到有些人受不了用自殺來解決. (低層).


7 個人失業, 壓力極大, 我的收入是 0. 為了生存, 我要犯法, 我要食物, 我的兒女要吃, 要穿, 要住, 要生存. 我對這個社會極度極度的憤恨. 我們全都集合起來, 一起為求生存要搶掠/反抗/暴動(碴宰層).

地球: 我已經受夠了. 精英/大企業/人類妄顧我和大自然, 以為我們是死物, 抽我的礦石和石油, 我這樣很辛苦. 這樣我和大自然都會毁滅. 為防止毁滅, 我要用病毒/海嘯/地震/旱災來阻止他們的 "進化/濫虐". 我和太陽都不再支援這些人類的虐待, 我不會再生產石油, 讓人類自生自滅.


從這裏我們看得出, 資本主義/精英完全不知道自已拼命的享受是導至我們今天全球搶掠/暴動的主要因素. 而他們是完全沒有辨法解決的, 因為他們看不到包括自已本身也是貪婪的實化体和導世界上大部份人每天活在奴隸生活的根源. 所以我們用常識(common sense)極清楚的看得出, 一切的暴動/暴民都是透過我們/精英的享受而在背後不斷製造出來的.


而基本收入補助制(Basic Income Grant)透過如接管如水電等基本設施, 把這些大企業的營利平均地分配給大部份低下層的人, 亦可以平等地分配給所有人, 体會平等政策是什麼味道的. 這樣會舒緩全球各地的暴動, 給精英們更多的時間來找出解決方法. 推遲世界大戰, 而更多人(甚至精英自已)有更多機會, 了解活在平等富裕, 每一個人都可以是精英是怎樣的一個天堂在地球的美好世界.


從双輸走向不止是双贏, 而是多贏的結果. 不再需要害怕, 我明天會餓死嗎? 我會生癌症嗎? 不再需要擔心, 我生前所做盡的惡事, 死後的報應怎麼算? 這些在平等富裕金錢下都不會存在. 甚至連精英也可以, 沒有恐懼下做一個平等的精英, 可以從未試過的安穏熟睡. 不需要擔心, 有人來謀我的財富嗎? 每一個人都是平等生命下的精英.


所以連精英也看不到完來問題的根源一直都沒有被解決過, 而只是不斷的透過科技的進步而惡化. 我們不應該全自動的各種電子產品, 而是人人有工開, 每一個人都有住屋, 每一個人都得到基本營養的食物和基本衛生設備. 世界上每一個人都得到照顧 - 平等富裕金錢系統. 那麼甚至連精英們, 也可以有生以來第一次, 無憂輕鬆自在的一覺睡到天明. 然後每一天都不需要活在惶恐會被憤怒的人群搶掠. 要明白, 只需用常識就會明白 - 一個小數秘密組織用盡一切方法透過鈔票來統治大多數是等如馬戲團表演踏鋼線, 最終都需要跌下來, 是自願下來還是被迫跌下來, 這是精英們的選擇.


當然, 我們投票給精英選出來的黨/總統, 這些人根本有能力和智力與常識(common sense)來解決我們現正每天面對着的困境嗎? 運用常識就能夠解答.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

今天領悟精英也領悟不了的問題 - 凶湧暴民 (1)


這個月在做什麼? 忙完然後又忙. 一直在為金錢, 為 Desteni的支援在忙. 在準備 3%双氧水療法的工具, 網上訂購, 為 Desteni的訪談上英文字幕, 回覆 email和支援其中一段 Bernard回覆的中文翻譯, 為 keto 食療法測試, 修改食譜. 處理家務, 煮食, 網上閱讀學習.


今天其實是頗興奮的一天! 我終於領悟了精英們永領悟不了的難題: 為什麼資本主義是導至今天地球上, 我們每天面對的種種問題. 如今天所有系統, 社會架構的崩潰. 和甚至可以透過間接幫助精英們, 短期鞏固/適緩他們正面對着的, 憤怒群眾和已經沒有石油的問題. 某程度上我是 "希望" 那些精英們能夠看到這篇文章, 而明白領悟自已的享受和貪心其實就是導至所有一切問題的根源. 而對我們和所有貧苦大眾, 失業大軍伸出援手, 這樣可以給所有人都 "買一些時間", 推遲可能發生的第三次世界大戰, 學會顧及/為全体最大得益而作決定, 和可以比較輕鬆的面對死後的 "報應".

我這刻不知道, 或許我是太天真.


這個䕼題是在毫無準傋的情況下突然領悟的, 而常識(common sense)是主要的關鍵. 我當時在聽 Bernard解說我們的 7年每天寫自我宽恕的訪談, 應該是 Finding the purpose in the Journey to Life - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYWqhzY5n3k. 在末段他一說到我們在不停的為了利潤, 為了減低成本逹至更高的利潤, 全世界的大企業在不停製造, 越來越不經人手, 電腦化(從奴隸人類 "轉化"成奴隸地球, 因為石油就是地球的血液)和越快爛的產品, 省減越來越多的職位. 每天越來越多人失業. 還談到失業帶來的壓力, 憤怒和怨恨. 然後突然間, 一刹那間, 資本主義導至今天上千萬人的憤恨, 暴動導至甚至精英們寧願用世界大戰來 "抵消"這些暴民的怨恨. 然而他們真的完全不知道, 自已無止境的貪心, 享受, 害怕失去身邊擁有的一切和無視每天上千上萬的失業怨民, 在餓死病死邊緣的兒童. "管他人死活, 只要我繼續我的享受" 這不只是他們, 而是我們大部份人現時的寫照. 透過自我-宽恕, 表明我錯了, 我跟自已說對不起, 我努力改變自已的本質, 從此不再犯了.

我在想, 不會吧? 我想了幾個月的時間也想不明的難題, 聽了幾句說語就領悟了?? 所以我在群聊時問了 Bernard, 而他說: 是的. 所以解開了後有如釋重擔的樣子, 肩膞上的石頭, 又輕了一個.

事實是這樣的. 世界上 7憶人就像 7 個人. 1 個精英, 6 個是工人/農夫, 1 個人扮演地球. 這時候的系統是還是 "平衡"的. 現在精英/大企業說我要提高我的利潤, 透過 "工業/機器化革命", 我能夠用較少的人, 生產較多的產品, 然後透過一張綠色的紙, 收集, 6個/億工人/農夫的勞動力, 供我享受.


[工業革命後]

1 個 精英/大企業: 我省減較少的勞工, 生產更多的產品, 得到更多的利潤/錢即是收集勞動力. (上流人仕).

4 個 工人/農夫: 因為有人被 "裁員"了, 我有壓力而且精英/大企業用裁員做要有助脅我們, 為了生存, 我們工作的時間更長, 工作量更多. (低層).

2 個人失業, 壓力極大, 我的收入是 0. 為了生存, 我要犯法, 我要食物, 我的兒女要吃, 要穿, 要住, 要生存. (碴宰層).

地球: 精英/大企業/人類妄顧我和大自然, 以為我們是死物, 抽我的礦石和石油, 我這樣很辛苦. 這樣我和大自然都會毁滅. 為防止毁滅, 我要用病毒/海嘯/地震/旱災來阻止他們的 "進化/濫虐".


然後, 一直以來所有人都是焦點都是在怎樣往上爬, 我們妄顧/無視身邊的人, 非洲捱餓的兒童, 地球/大自然和動植物界. 只專注在貪婪, 怎樣得到更多的錢, 和自已的高頻/能量快感. 每天為怎樣可以節省成本, 提高利潤/收集的勞動力. 一切的科技都被用在大企業節省成本, 提高利潤上面. 如我們每天用的厠紙, 科技沒有為我們帶來任何的好處. 高科技令我們的大企業, 更有效的令我們更不舒適和擦屁股時, 越來越更易戳穿手指. 這只是類之不盡的其中一個例子.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Bernard解釋心智系統和怎樣應付它對你的影響



這是我為 Bernard 透過 Sunette 給其中一位 Destonian問關於她過往 20年的經歴, 究竟是什麼一回事的詳細解釋. 我們可以從裏面學到一個人如果得不到洽當的指導, 只有自已單獨應付心智系統可以釀成怎樣的悲劇. 幸好她現在遇上了 Desteni, 而她也在最近的 email表示在應用過一系列的自我-宽恕後, 思想平復了許多許多.


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你人生所經歴的所有人類一樣心智系統(mind)的運作是一樣的. 你比大部份人類体驗到心智的幅度更加(極度)的強烈, 然而世界上有很多人仍然/曾經有(和你同樣)程度或類似的体驗.
 我會在這篇文章回覆給你解釋你的心智系統發生過什麼一回事, 它們怎樣發生和為什麼會發生. 還有栛助和支援你的解決辨法.
讓我們開始看一看這幾點:

*** 在我20歲時跟隨著父母親參加了佛教,也跟隨著出家師父舉辦過兒童夏令營。那是一段開心的日子。後來跟著另一個老師學習佛法。一開始起了一個對老師不恭敬的念頭,心中開始悔恨交加。然後胸口常有一股能量,自己一直控制不住的能量,常覺得自己像一台印表機,主機在別的地方,別人輸入甚麼在我的腦
海中就出現甚麼。我一直無法掌控自己。

對這個 "大師"的不敬, 指責 和怨恨思想來自你自已的心智系統, 並且稱為 "暗聊back chat)". 這種暗聊時來自心智系統裏自動出現, 也有源自我們的性格. 所以, 如果一個人對另一個人(在裏面)有這些不敬, 指責和怨恨的暗聊 它事實在給我們揭露自已沒有留意重點. 透過你對這 "大師"的不敬, 指責和怨恨顯示你對

自已不敬, 指責和怨恨自已, 然而你把它往外投射在這大師身上. 我們的外世界和遇到的人其實是我們自已的本質寫照. 意思是, ()對任何/另一個人的感受/体驗, 事實上在給你揭露/顯示你自已裏面(一直抑壓/無視)怎樣体驗着自已, 怎樣對待自已 - 這些給你揭露你怎對待自已(與自已的關係). 所有人類都看不出這點: - 一切我們在自已裏面所感受/所想的事實上全都 "源自我們自已". 所有我們對某人/其他人/某物某事的感受/所想 - 事實上就是我們對自已(作出)的感受/所想.

(我遲些在文章後面會教你怎樣 - 從你對其他人的感受/想法, 怎樣看出實際上它在告訢給你看你在怎樣對待/感受你自已的.)

我們思想的想念/想法, 這些稱為暗聊的對話(暗聊一些被處理過的想法, 以一種在我們自已心智系統裏形成真實對話形式的思想, 所以 - 所有在我們自已心智系統世界裏的談話, 都是我們從/透過自已的想念/想法製造出來的) - 所以, 這些想念/想法/暗聊(能夠)在我們身体裏(抽取)產生能量, 就是你過往在胸口所体驗的. 所以 - 這些你感受到的能量源自你在你心智系統裏面(對自已)的想念/想法.
 現時, 心智系統和這些想念/想法和能量是 "自動化模式", 因為我們把心智系統設計成/製造成與我們自已是分開的. 所以, 心智系統, 這些想法和能量實際上是屬於/是我們的一部份, 這部份我們與自已分離了, 並且它為自已製造了一個/一種 "(獨立)意識", 這些在現時"佔據/主使/控制"着我們指揮自已, 活自已的能力. 這是為什麼你感到像 "自已越來越失控"的原因, 因為現時我們的心智系統, 我們自已的想念/想法, 我們的能量操縱/主使着我們的一切, 因為我們沒有為他們承擔自我責任, 甚至沒有察覺出實際上它們是我們(自已的一部份). 因為處於這種分離(狀態), 我們 "忘記了" 我們過往怎樣編寫自已的心智系統, 自已的想念/想法和我們的能量, 而我們就這樣地產生自已的心智系統, 這些想法和能量是某種(狂暴)而自已沒有辨法控制它們的想法/觀念; 而事實上我們自已足以制止和指揮它們的.你只需要學會怎樣做 (這正是我們繼續往下面看我會教你的).

*** 我一直認為我的老師神通廣大,應該可以解決我的問題,但是並沒有。我跟他說我的問題,他只是低頭不語,甚麼話也沒有說。我去找他好幾次,他問我有什麼問題?我說我心很不安。他學著中國禪宗五祖大師對六祖慧能說:「心不安?你把心拿來,我幫你安。」
 慧能大師因此而開悟。可是我並沒有,我持續過著不安的生活,隨著一次一次去找他,都得不到解答。一次比一次沮喪,一次比一次失落。

這點正是所有人類 "都會迷失" - 當我們嘗試往 "外面", 向其他人求救, 當解決辨法永遠都在我們自已裏面. 人類錯在: 是我們製造我們自已的心智系統, 我們自已的想念/想法和我們的能量亦因為這點: 事實上, 沒有人任何人知道我們自已的心智系統是怎樣運作的, 因為在你裏面就只有 "你自已"一個在心智裏面! 沒有任何人, 不管是正常人或甚至一個大師能夠幫你應付你的心智系統, 因為他們不是住在你的心智裏面的 - 只有你自已是. 所以 - 只有你自已才能救助自已, 透過了解你作為一個心智系統是怎樣運作的, 並且在你自已裏面站起來指揮你的心智系統/想念/想法/能量, 你不再被這些控制着. 每一個人永遠都往自已外面尋找解決辨法/栛助/答案, 從來沒有往 - 因為 "真正"的栛助/解決辨法不是往外面找的, 不在 "外面", 而是在自已裏面, 是你自已. 所以 - 我會往後教你自我-宽恕和寫作, 都是一些會栛助你在/處於你心智系統, 想念/想法和能量裏面時指揮自已, 不再令自已受它們的控制, 而是你站起來決定要改變自已(的地方). 沒有任何人可以替你制止你的心智系統, 想念/想法和能量 - 只有我們自已才能夠為自已做到, 因為這些心智系統, 思想/想法和能量都是自已, 是我們親手製造出來的, 我們要為此負上自我責任.

*** 我開始懷疑我心中的負面能量是否跟他有關,因為他有神通,他知道我對他的不滿,我對他的不恭敬。所以他討厭我,只要他一個念頭我就會不舒服.

這是另一個, 我們在心智系統裏面的範例 - 我們投映在別人身上, 但事實上這些是我們在自已裏面体驗着自已而不關其他人事的. 心智系統是一個有趣的系統, 它能夠一直說服你進入相信, 例如這些 "負能量" 是源自別人發出的; 然而事實上我們自已在自已裏面, 透過自已的思想, 產生這些能量的. 透過這些在我們腦裏面不斷想/與自已的對話, 的想念生產出來.

所以, 在這裏 - 這些你對這大師的 "負能量", 實際上是你在自已裏面對自已所体驗(感受)到的負能量, 是你透過你在心智系統裏面的思想/自我交談自已製造出來的. 心智系統在我們裏面可以同時製造正能量和負能量的, 這此都是透過我們思想/想念的性質製造出來的. 所以 - 如果你接受和容許你裏面有負面的想念/想法, 你就會造出負能量, 如果你接受和容許正面的想念, 你就會造出正能量. 所有這些正和負面的想念/想法與能量同時源自我們的心智系統並且把我們從物質性身体分開了 - 不再每一刻都處於(活在)是這裏(Here)在真實世界中. 所以, 心智系統 - 當我們讓思想和能量牽着鼻子走; 把我們從本來是與身体一体在是 "這裏/當下"(here), 而因此導至我們極容易陷入自已的心智系統裏面, 因為它是一個極混亂和容易迷失的地方 - 就如你過往已經所体驗過的一樣. 所以 - 運用自我宽恕和自我寫作, 這些我在後面都會逐一解釋它們的運作原理; 你能夠栛助/引領自已走出已陷入了自已在心智系統裏面的迷失狀態, 並且變回在身体裏面穩定下來, 把自已帶回現實(環境). 並透過這樣終止你裏面的的混亂和迷失狀態回復是 "這裏". 對你會是一個進程; 但一如你過往所体驗過的一樣 - 沒有任何人可以幫到你的; 這問題不會有 "輕鬆快捷的解決方法"; 你必須要和只能夠自救; 而將會有很多人透過給你看怎樣運用這些自我宽恕和自我寫作的工具, 來栛助和支援你. 然而真正走每一步和應用這些工具, 真正不斷下功夫去 "行動/" - 只有你能夠為自已栛助自已.

明白, 這些 - 你覺得這大師擁有 "超自然"力量是一道你在自已心智系統裏面製造的信念. 如果人類真的擁有超自然力量 - 這個世界早就已經變成一個徹㡳不會像今天的世界! 因此, 你跟你的師父的關係只是一道你在心智系統裏面, 透過你自已的思想/想法和你在心智系統腦裏的交談製造出來的 "信念", 因為你相信他比你 "更高超". 然而 - 沒有一個人類是比其他人 "更高超". 所有人類都有一個心智系統, 思想/想念和能量. 唯一令某些人更強大 是我們對他們, 自已在心智系統裏產生/相信這些信念. 所以 - 當你在心智系統裏相信禪師是比你自已 "更高超", 你令自已相信 "他必定/有能力幫助你"; 而不是察覺到我們自已就是力量本身可以幫助自已. 所以 - 你必需要察覺這點: 世上沒有大師 - 不管你有多相信他們有 "多高超", 他們幫不了你的; 因為他們不是()在你/你的心智系統裏面: 只有你自已是, 因此只有你自已能栛助自已.

所以, 在這裏 - 重點是拋開你對大師比你 "更高超" 並且栛助和支援你自已這天生的力量, 就是你自已, 並且栛助自已指揮心智系統令它不再控制着你: 只有你能夠幫助自已完成這使命 - 世上沒有人可以替你做(就如你過往已經歴過的一樣!).

還有, 這些你相信他對你不敬, 不滿意和憤恨() - 實際上在揭露給你看你在怎樣對待你自已. 記着, 所有我們在心裏面想的 - 永遠都從自我們自已裏面產生出來的.

心智系統把我們(的投映在別人身上好讓我們不會察覺到這一切原來實際上是發自我們自已的, 然而我們永遠都把我們心裏面体驗到的, 只埋怨在對方身上因此永遠不會察覺到這事實上我們永遠都在自已在裏面感受/体驗着的是自已, 並且因為我們沒有察覺這點 - 我們沒有對自已的心智系統, 自已的思想/想念和我們自已的能量承擔責任; 沒有察覺出我們自已本身就是問題的根源.

所以 - 在這個例子中, 當你覺得這大師在對你不敬, 不滿和憤恨 - 就是一個我們的心智系統怎樣投映自已在別人身上的例子. 所以, 例如 - 這些不敬, 不滿和憤恨, 事實上是從你自已裏面洐生出來的, 並且準確的顯示給你看你在自已裏面, 怎樣体驗/對待自已. 是你事實上對你自已不敬, 是你對自已不滿和事實上是你對自已把這些投射在你的師父身上好讓你不用看出這些, 事實上是你在對你自已的感覺 而感到憤恨. 因此, 我們在自已的心智系統裏面迷失了, 相信我們有的是對其他人的感受, 然而同時間一直以來 - 我們只是在感受着的是自已.

*** 然後我開始出現幻聽,出現一些學長咒罵我的聲音,本來想不要理會這個聲音。但是時間久了,也開始覺得不耐煩,忍不住要辯駁、抱怨、要回罵回去。結 果就是自己在自己的腦海中不斷的編織故事。然後自己給自己回應。自己罵自己。對於自己這樣的現象,只有越來恐慌、越來越害怕。

心智系統是這樣運作的: 當我們越參與投入我們的思想/想念和能量時, 它就會變得越來越猛烈最終附強到一個思想/想念和能量能夠轉化成幻覺和更多的幻聽.
 所有人類沒有察覺到真相是 - 所有這些在我們腦裏面的幻覺, 幻聽, 是我們透過參與思想/想念和能量產生出來的. 當我們越投入自已的思想/想念和能量時, 我們越 "餵養壯大我們的心智系統". 就這樣我們把自已的力量/責任傳到心智系統身上, 然後心智系統變得比我們更強大. 所以 - 這些我們與心智系統的關係, 就是這些思想/想念和能量, 變得比我們更強大: 我們透過沒有制止自已的思想/想念和能量並且下定決心與我們的身体一起(每一刻都)活在呼吸裏. 所以, 當我們越投入思想與能量時, 心智系統就越來越強大, 而我們就越來越渺小. 所以 - 當越來越多幻覺和幻聽出現在腦海裏出現時必須要明白: 是我不斷在餵養我的心智系統越來越壯大, 反而沒有制止我的思想和能量. 因此要察覺到, 甚至連幻覺也是我們在心智系統裏面透過自已的思想和內心對話和反應製造出來的.

所以 - 現在是你重新取回你的自我-力量並且不再接受或容許自已把自我-力量下放給心智系統. 我會協助和支援你透過教你怎樣用寫作和自我-宽恕來, 和怎樣停止參與思想/想念和能量. 令自已不再餵養心智系統的食糧, 並且為自已取回你的自我-力量, 栛助和支援自已活在你的物質身体裏面而不是活在心智系統裏.

*** 一直打電話給老師,每次他都不耐煩的問我甚麼事?我越來越驚恐也越說不出來是怎麼回事。只會哭。然後他很不高興的說:「問你甚麼事也不講,只是哭有甚麼好哭的。」就掛電話。我以為他神通廣大,可以知道我發生了甚麼事情?但是我想我搞錯了。他應該是把我當成瘋子一樣的看待吧!

這裏你察覺到甚至 "大師"們事實上完全不知道其他人心智系統裏面發生什麼事的: 只有你最清楚. 並且, 你還需要察覺 - 沒有人可以幫助你的, 除非你自救. 例如, 我正在對你的過往經歴給你一些看法, 並且教你怎樣用寫作和自我宽恕逐步的栛助自已, 然而第一步你必須透過寫作和自我宽恕, 制止這些在你心智腦海的思想/想法, 幻聽和能量 - 你會察覺你能夠做到的, 並且世上只有你能夠做到. 所以 - 你的 "師父"幫不了你, 因為這些在你心智系統裏的思想/想念, 幻聽和能量都是製造出來的, 而因為你是你心智系統裏面的總設計師 - 只有你在自已裏面可以改變自已. 寫作和自我宽恕能夠令你/你帶領自已一步一步完成 - 利用你自已的心智系統即是思想, 幻聽和能量來栛助自已.

*** 在老師這得不到解決的辦法。我開始希望佛菩薩可以幫忙。可以讓我的念頭停下來。因為我的念頭一直無法停止,而且全是負面的念頭,讓我痛苦萬分。但是我也找不到佛菩薩。我的狀況一直持續惡化當中,出現更多的幻聽、幻覺。對佛菩薩有更多的抱怨。為何我苦苦哀求,他都不來救我,我在心中咒罵著佛菩薩。然後又覺得驚恐萬分

這裏看一看: 你對菩薩建立了與你以前的師父一樣的關係 - 往自已外面求救, 而不是察覺到只有你住在自已的心智系統裏面. 而亦因為只有你獨個一直住在裏面 - 只有你能夠協助自已. 然而, 因為人類沒有察覺在我們裏面的 "所有"這些思想, 幻聽和能量都是自已製造的, 而我們需要承擔負責的 - 我們常常往自已外面尋找答案, 希望其他人會(替我們)解決我們的問題; 然而在現實世界不可能和不是這樣運作的.

還有看一看, 長久以後, 這些思想, 聲音和能量只會變得越來越多, 越來越多而這個越來越嚴重除非你在裏面自已站起來並且不再投入它們並且改變 "你自已"!
 還有, 如果你再細心看, 你對菩薩的怨恨, 指責這些在你心智系統裏面的思想/想念, 幻聽和能量永遠都是一模一樣的. 就和你以前對你師父的情形一樣, 因為你同樣捨棄了自已的力量, 卑微並且在你的心智系統裏, 把你的師父和菩薩比自已更高超, 反而沒有察覺在你裏面, 自已有能力栛助和支援自已. 所以, 你對菩薩的關係, 當你的心智系統把你自已的怨恨和指責投映在菩薩身上時 ,相同的經歴就在你的心智系統裏面循環再現.

 
看看 - 我們的外世界(事件)實際是反映出我們裏面同時出現着的. 這是指, 例如 - 當体驗到對菩薩怨恨和指責, 事實上是顯示給你看你實際是對自已怨恨和指責. 而這同樣應用在世界上所有的人 - 所有我們体驗到對別人的思想/想法和能量, 事實上在揭露給我們看我們這些体驗是對自已的; 然而我們的心智系統()把這些(反應)投映在別人身上好讓我們永遠察覺不出我們從來不是在体驗/感受別人而是感受着 "自已"!!! 我會為你而做, 我會透過自我宽恕的例子教你怎樣栛助和支援自已 "在別人身上查看自已", 意思是怎樣為你自已, 查看你與別人相處時你對別人的思想和能量, 事實上是在揭露給你看, 這些就是你對自已的想法和能量. 所以, 你與你身外的師父還有菩薩的關係和想法和能量, 事實在揭露給你看這些是你在()裏面對自已的關係 - 我們外在的關係反映我們內裏跟自已的關係.

*** 覺得自己大逆不道,毀謗佛法,是要下地獄的。然後開始出現幻覺有地獄的小鬼來,要我做大魔王。我不願意。因為做大魔王是要殺人的。我並不想。但是覺得自己越來越無法掌控自己,害怕自己哪天真的失控而傷害眾生。所以趁自己神智還清醒的時候,從我家的5樓陽台上跳下去,想要結束自己的生命。結果我並沒有死…

這裏也一樣, 當你繼續餵養你的心智系統, 參與你的思想和能量時, 這些幻覺變得越來越劇烈, 令心智系統越來越強大 - 你沒有察覺到這些心智裏的思想/想念和能量事實上是不會比你更強大的, 然而你反而把力量供應給心智系統. 你膨漲/令這些思想和能量比自已更強大因為你與自已的思想/想念和能量分離了, 沒有察覺出你這些思想和能量, 也就是你的心智系統, 其實是你的一部份 你沒有察覺出他們其實是你. 亦因為你沒有察覺出這些思想和能量是你, 你容許這些思想和能量掌握你的力量和凌駕控制了你. 而如果任由心智系統任意妄為 - 它會變成像有知覺並且控制我們到一個它在我們裏面完全接管所有一切的地步, 而我們完全會失去自已和身体的自控 - 就如你過往所經歴的一樣, 你的思想和能量, 即是心智系統不斷遊說你實行了結你自已的生命. - 這些心智系統, 這些思想/想念和這些能量是極度脫離現實世界到它不可能重視生命, 因為它(本身)不是生命. 心智系統是由能量造成的 - 這些思想/想念和聲音也一樣.

如果我們繼續活在心智系統裏面, 我們會越來越與自已從物質現實裏脫離進入一個能量性虛假現實, 繼而相信這個心智系統現實世界是真的, 並且完全忘記 "我們" ()在這個 "真正的物質現實世界".  死亡或結束你的生命 "不是解決方法". 只有 "你自已"是解決辨法. 在自已裏面為了自已. 我會教你的自我宽恕和寫作是你用來幫助你走出心智虛假能量性現實, 重回物質性現實的工具. 讓你可以感激自已, 感激生活和感激與自已一起在這裏(here), 並且讓自已變成在這個世界一個更豐富精彩的自已, 這一切你住在心智系統裏面是沒有可能得到的.

Desteni - 這是我們怎樣走的. 每一個人都用寫作和自我宽恕來栛助和支援自已察覺心智系統及所有這些思想/想念/想法, 暗聊和能量, 這些都是與我們分離了的一部份自已. 而我們唯一能夠清淨這些在我們裏面這團髒亂, 為這些分開了的自已即是心智系統負上責任, 並且在我們自已裏面, "尋回自我/(真正的)自已". 還有 - 自我宽恕和寫作的進程能夠協助和支援自已停止心智裏面的能量, 繼而停止在心智裏再製造幻像, 回到自已的物質身体裏並且活在一個我們抽離了的 "真實的世界". 除了寫作和自我宽恕, 我們還運用 "呼吸法". 讓你變得察覺自已與身体一起的呼吸而這樣會幫你不再脫離自已()在心智裏面 - 與你的身体, 與你自已回到這裏(here).

"解決辨法":

好的 - 我剛給你解釋過基本上你過往在你的心智系統裏面所面對的, 和我們怎樣在自已的心智裏製造出幻聽和幻覺. 所以 - 讓我們列出最重的幾點給你察覺:

1. 在我們心智系統裏的思想/想念, 幻聽/聲音, 能量和幻覺是與我們分開了的一部份.
 2. 對別人的思想/想念, 幻聽/聲音, 能量和幻覺事實上是在告訴/揭露我們與自已的關係的性質.
3. 我們一直透過相信我們的心智比自已是更強大的 - 給心智系統, 即是這些思想, 聲音, 能量和幻覺輸送力量, 而令我們對自已改變自已變得無力.
 4. 察覺我們透過取回自我-力量並且不再投入在心智系統即是思想, 幻聽, 幻覺和能量裏面, 我們有能力在自已裏面改變自已的.
 5. 運用寫作, 自我宽恕和呼吸法這些工具來協助和支援我們不再活在心智系統的虛幻世界裏, 並且回到自已 回到我們的物質身体 活在一個真正現實, 活在一個我們現與它與自已脫離了的物質現實的世界, 因為我們在心智系統(世界)裏迷失了.

現在讓我們看看自我宽恕的原理和怎樣用我示範的自我宽恕例子來栛助自已:
 首先讓我們看看: "什麼是自我宽恕"?
了解過什麼是自我宽恕後我們還會看看 "自我宽恕的原理".

自我宽恕是一個讓我們透過實踐(這些宽恕)來栛助和支援自已對自已的心智系統承擔責任的工具. 透過應用自我宽恕, 它會協助和支援自已去察覺你過往怎樣從你的思想, 聲音, 能量和幻覺裏分離了, 並且為察覺了後, 停止這些分離和取回你的自我-力量. 可以說, 就像所有這些思想/想念, 聲音, 能量和幻覺就像一塊塊的比薩餅而我們一直像一個比薩餅分散成所有零碎的比薩餅, 在我們裏面滿佈這些比薩餅. 自我宽恕協助和支援我們把所有這些(也是我們)的比薩餅, 把我們在自已裏面重新放回原位.

所以 - 自我宽恕同時是一個在心智系統的迷失空間裏 "尋找自已"的進程. 自我宽恕還協助和支援我們看到我們是有能力制止並在自已裏面改變自已的, 透過下定 "決心"要改變然後實踐. 自我宽恕還會協助和支援我們看到, 我們需要怎樣為自已亦是我們的心智系統負起責任, 在明白我們在自已裏面唯一可以改變自已的方法就只有透過 "我們親自實踐".

 要明白 - 這會是一個進程. 我們正在面對這個心智系統, 是沒有 "馬上復元的神奇療法". 你需要適應 "完全另一種的生活方式", 在每一天裏這是一個身体力行在寫作, 自我宽恕和呼吸的進程. 再次把所有在你裏面零零碎碎的比薩餅重新回歸一体. 就如你到目前為止已經察覺到, 只是往外面尋找快捷的解決辨法結果是: 現實不是這樣運作的. 幫助自已的進程是需要耐性和恒心並且察覺你在為自已而做下去. 而且, 把拼圖重新拼好是需要時間, 集中力, 專注力的 - 有時候你會做錯, 不過過後就站起來再嘗試一次. 你要走的進程也會一樣.

所以 - 讓我們看看自我宽恕是怎樣做的:
 讓我們用比如在這幾點裏最重要察覺的是從中察覺你有能力取回自已的力量並且不再參與投入在心智系統裏, 透過察覺到你必須要在自已裏面站起來. 要做到這點, 一個人需要這樣做自我-宽恕:

    我宽恕自已接受和容許自已與我的心智系統分離了, 沒有察覺到我的心智其實就是我.
    我宽恕自已接受和容許自已與我的思想/想念分離了, 而在這分離裏我沒有察覺出我的思想其實就是我而我是有能力制止和改變我自已亦改變我的思想.
    我宽恕自已接受和容許自已與能量分離了, 沒有察覺到這些能量只有當我越來越不斷參與投入這些在我心智系統裏的思想和聲音,才會在心智裏產生越來越強大的能量.
    我宽恕自已接受和容許自已相信這些在我腦海裏的聲音是從某人/某處發出來的, 沒有察覺這些是我很久以前長時間參與思想和能量產生出來的, 而因此這些聲音不是個別分離的, 是我製造這些聲音出來的. 而如果我可以製造它們出來 - 我就可以制止它們.
    我宽恕自已接受和容許自已相信心智系統比我更強大, 而沒有察覺出這個心智系統就是我自已, 和如果心智系統就是我 - 我就可以制止和改變心智系統 改變我.
    我宽恕自已接受和容許自已把自已的力量下放給這些心智系統, 思想, 聲音, 能量, 幻覺而這樣自已與自已分開成破破碎碎的破片, 在自已的心智系統裏迷失了自已.

好的, 所以這些就是一些關於我們與自已也就是心智系統分離了的關係的自我宽恕例子, 而在這分離裏, 令我們的心智系統比我們自已更強大. 透過察覺到心智系統是我們自已的一部份 - 我們就有能力協助和支援自已停止並且改變自已改變心智.

"為什麼一定要用自我宽恕!!?"

 就如字裏所說 - 我們用的字 "我宽恕自已接受和容許自已.." 說自我宽恕就像 - "對自已說對不起", 不過以一種深層和親密的方式來說. 為自已從自已裏面分離了出去, 為沒有察覺你事實上是可以自救的, 為令自已的人生變得如此坎坷, 為對自已的苛刻, 為沒有幫助自已而對自已說對不起. 而透過這自我宽恕 "對自已說對不起" 你就會從你的過去中釋放自已, 好讓你可以為自已在你裏面創造一個新的未來. 透過自我宽恕, 你拋開在你心智系統裏以往的重擔, 這些不斷像鬼魂般纏繞着你, 並且釋放自已重獲自由, 取回你的力量, 為自已改變自已. 讓我們看看 "接受和容許":

"接受" 是說我們過往怎樣接受/默許在心智系統裏時的一切, 接受我們繼續奴役自已在心智裏, 接受在心智裏迷失成為所有這些破碎的比薩餅. 接受我們過往容許所有令我們不肯改變自已的一切事, 因為 - 因為你 "接受"自已變成所有這些碎片, 因為你這樣接受自已繼而奴役自已永遠都處於迷失中, 並且最終變成這些你接受的而且活這些你所接受 - 接受你永遠這樣迷失下去. 因此我們在自我宽恕句子裏加進 "我宽恕自已 接受!" 因為這樣會栛助和支援你停止再接受, 比如你永遠迷失下去, 並且栛助你改變這項接受成為一種察覺, 察覺出你有能力制止這些你所接受並且 "改變你自已"! 所以 - 當你不再接受自已變成 "在心智系裏迷失", 你跟着察覺你有能力制止這種迷失狀態並且再一次尋回自我!

"容許" 是我們過往怎樣容許自已一直在心智系統裏迷失下去, 一直甘於乏力. 容許, 這就像在說: "我什麼也不能做, 我改變不了自已, 我迷失/迷困了, 我乏力因此我永遠都是這樣的了". 所以 - 容許就像, 一直繼續以這些破碎/失落的比薩餅存在下去, 並且什麼也不嘗試/做去改變現況, 而繼續現在的模樣和迷失下去. 容許我們把自已的力量下放給心智系統, 透過 "容許"它並且"不去改變". 因此我們在自我宽恕句子裏加進 "我宽恕自已接受和 容許!.." 因為這樣給我們一個機會, 停止這些 "容許" 這些每個人現時的奴役狀態並且察覺我們有能力取回 "自已的力量!" "改變!"

所以 - 這些在自我宽恕裏的字句是用來栛助和支援自已停止接受的也就是奴役, 容許也就是下放自已的力量給心智系統和有這些零零碎碎自我, 把自已也就是這些比薩餅重新回歸的關鍵.

另一個在你進程中協助你的工具是: 呼吸法. 集中注意力與你的身体一起呼吸, 當心智系統暴走和這些想念, 聲音和幻覺壓倒你的時候, 吸入和呼出會幫助你, "把自已帶回現實中" 即是在物質身体裏. 你與物質身体一起呼吸會幫助你把心智系統靜下來, 讓你在自已裏面變得更穏. 所以 - 當你為自已走這個走出心智現實回到自已的進程, 幫助自已 "與身体一起呼吸!", 集中注意力在呼吸裏時. 你會發覺當你越不斷練習時, 這就會變得越來越容易停止參與在心智系統, 這些思想, 聲音和能量中.(Fred: 這我可以做證. 我已連續不停用呼吸法有三年半了, 現在已差不多不用數四下也無時無刻在輕鬆自動的做停氣呼吸.) 所以當你同時做你的自我宽恕, 和過你的日常生活 - 做日常事務時, 你可以同時專注在你的呼吸裏, 或當心智變得太劇烈或太忙碌時, 那時你只需要獨個兒坐下來一會, 深而且慢的吸呼, 吸入然後呼出直至你感到你的心智在慢慢靜來, 而且越來越靜. 而你就這樣栛助自已不再令心智系統過度活躍和壓倒你.

好的 - 我在這裏給你解釋過基本的技巧, 你過往經歴的是什麼一回事, 什麼是自我宽恕, 要怎樣運用, 為什麼會有效還有你能夠怎樣用呼吸法幫助自已. 現在是看 "!". 如果你下定決心取回自已的力量和幫助自已,我們可以為你提供協助和支援, 好讓你能夠協助和支援自已. (翻譯: Fred cheung)


With Original English draft:
====================================
What you have experienced throughout your life is how the mind of all human beings work. You have experienced your mind more extensively than most human beings, however there are many humans out there that have/have had the exact same or similar experiences.
I will within this document explain to you what happened in your mind, how it happened and why it happened. Also the solutions to assist and support yourself with.

Let’s begin with having a look at some main points:

Quote: “At the beginning I was having disrespecting thoughts against a master, I began to blame and spite him. Then I began to felt like there was a rush of energy in my chest - an energy that I cannot control. Felt like I was a printer and the main computer is somewhere else, whoever at the back input my commands and they will projected into my thoughts automatically. I couldn't control myself.”

The disrespecting, blaming and spiting thoughts towards the ‘master’ comes from your own mind and is referred to as ‘backchat’ or ‘back talk’. This ‘backchat’ comes up automatically in the mind and comes from our own personalities. So, if one have backchat of disrespect, blame and spite towards another, it reveals actually something about ourselves we haven’t looked at. With having disrespect, blame and spite towards the ‘master’ show that you have disrespect, blame and spite towards yourself, but you have projected it onto the master. Our world and the people in it is in fact mirrors of ourselves. This means that, whatever you experience towards another, actually show what you are experiencing within yourself, towards yourself –it reveals your relationship with yourself. This is what all humans miss: that – whatever we think/feel inside ourselves actually come FROM OURSELVES. Whatever we think/feel about someone/something else – is actually what we think/feel ABOUT OURSELVES.
(I will later in this document show you how to – from what you think/feel about another, see how it is in fact showing what you think/feel about yourself.)

The thoughts we think, the talking as the backchat (backchat which is thoughts arranged in such a way that it creates an actual conversation in our own mind, so – all talking that happens in our own mind, we have created ourselves from our own thoughts) – so, the thoughts/backchat generate energy in our bodies, which you experienced in your chest. So – the energy you experienced came from the thoughts/conversations of thoughts you were having in your mind.
At the moment, the mind with the thoughts and energies is ‘automated’, because we have created the mind, the thoughts and the energies in separation from us. So, the mind, the thoughts and energies are actually parts of ourselves we’ve separated ourselves from and created a ‘consciousness’ for itself, that is at the moment ‘taken over’ our ability to direct ourselves, to live. That’s why it felt like you were ‘losing control’, because at the moment our minds, our own thoughts, our own energies have taken control, because we haven’t taken responsibility for them or even realised that they are actually ourselves. Because of this separation, we have ‘forgotten’ how we have programmed our own mind, our thoughts and our energies and so created the belief that the mind, the thoughts and the energies is something that we can’t control; but we actually can stop and direct it ourselves; you just need to know how (which is what I will show you as we continue).

Quote: “I thought my master was almighty, he should be able to help me resolve this, but he didn't/couldn't. I told him my problems and he just bow his head(in his meditation) and said nothing. I met him several times. He asked me what's the matter? I said I was very anxious. He mimic Wai Lin(慧能) the Chinese Grand Five Meditation (Buddhism) master's words: anxious? You show me your "heart/thoughts/mind", let me help you find peace. Master Wai Lin

 his wisdom through this but I didn't. I was just continuing my anxious Life, through times as I visit him day in and day out, at the end I couldn't find the answer and all I have is discouragement and lost.”

This is a point where all humans ‘become lost’ in where we try and find help ‘out there’ from others, when the solution is and always has been ourselves, within ourselves. The point that humans miss is that: we have created our own mind, our own thoughts and our energies and because of this: no-one else can really help us, but ourselves, because no-one else knows how our own mind works, because there’s no-one else inside you but YOU! No human being, not a normal human or even a master can help you with your own mind, because they are not in your mind – only you are. So – only you can help yourself, through understanding how you as the mind works and stand up inside yourself to direct your mind/thoughts/energies to not take control of you anymore. Everyone is always looking for solutions/help/answers outside of themselves, never finding help/solutions – because the REAL help/solutions is not ‘out there’, but inside self as self. So – I will later introduce you to self forgiveness and writing, which is tools which will help you to direct yourself in your mind, thoughts and energies to not have them control you anymore, but where you stand-up and make a decision to change. No-one else can stop our mind, thoughts and energies for us – only we can do it for ourselves, because the mind, thoughts and energies is ourselves, is our own creation that we have to take responsibility for.

Quote: “I began to suspect was this negative energy originate/related to him. Because he has super power(e.g. Channeling/supernatural/could know other people's past/secrets inside their mind), he knew I disrespect him, he knew I discontented with him, so he hated me. As long as he use a thought then I would feel sick.”

Here is another example of how, what goes on in our own mind – we project onto others, but it’s in fact ourselves experiencing ourselves and not another human being. The mind is interesting system, it can talk yourself into believing that, for example the ‘negative energies’ is coming from another person; but we are really creating it inside ourselves through our own thoughts/back talk/conversations in our head. So – the negative energies are not really coming from another human being, but is in fact coming from inside ourselves, through the thoughts we are thinking/conversations in our head we are having.

So, here – the ‘negative energy’ you were having towards the master, was really your own negative energy that you experienced inside yourself, that you created yourself through the thoughts/conversations you had in your mind. The mind can create positive and negative energies inside ourselves, which is create based on the nature of the thoughts we are having. So – if you accept and allow negative thoughts inside you, you will create negative energy, if you accept and allow positive thoughts inside you – you create positive energy. Both positive and negative thoughts and energies come from our mind and separate us from our human physical bodies to not be here in actual reality. So, the mind – with following our thoughts and energies; separate us from being here with our bodies, and is thus very easy to lose ourselves in our mind, because it’s a very confusing place – as you have experienced for yourself. So – with self forgiveness and writing, which I will explain later how it works; you will be able to help yourself with getting out of the lostness in the mind, and become stable in your physical body and bring yourself back to reality. And so stop the confusion and lostness and be stable here. This will be a process to walk; but as you have already experienced for yourself – no-one else can help you; there is no ‘quick fix’; you have to and can only help yourself; and there are many that will assist and support you in showing you how to use the tools of writing and self forgiveness. But the actual walking and application of the tools, the actual DOING of it – only you can do for you.

Understand, that – the thoughts you had of the master being ‘supernatural’ was a belief that you created in your own mind. If human beings were really supernatural – this world would’ve already been a completely different place! Therefore, your relationship with your master was only a ‘belief’ that you created in your mind, with your own thinking and conversations you had in your mind, because you believed that he was ‘more powerful’ than you. But – no human being is ‘more powerful’ than another. All human beings have a mind with thoughts and energies. The only thing that makes others more powerful is our own ideas/beliefs we create about them in our own minds. So – with you believing that master was ‘more powerful’ in your own mind, you made yourself believe that ‘he must / can help you’; instead of realising that you have the power of yourself to be able to help yourself. See how beliefs separate us from ourselves and each other? How we make others ‘more powerful’ instead of realising we have the power as ourselves to help ourselves. So – this is what you must realise here: that – no master/guru – no matter how ‘powerful’ you believe they are, they cannot help you; because they are not in you/your mind: only you are and so only you can help yourself.

Therefore, here – it’s to let go of the belief that a master is ‘more powerful’ and assist and support yourself to take your own power that is yourself, and help yourself to direct the mind so that it doesn’t control you anymore: only you can do this for yourself – no-one else can (as you have experienced for yourself!).
Also, the disrespect, discontent and hate that you believed he was experiencing towards you – is actually revealing that you were experiencing that towards yourself. Remember, whatever we think inside ourselves – always come from ourselves.

The mind project ourselves onto others so that we don’t realise that it’s all actually coming from ourselves, but that we always then blame others for what we experience and so never realize that it’s in fact ourselves we are experiencing. And so many human beings get lost in their mind, because everything that’s coming from us is blames onto others, never realising we’re always experiencing ourselves and because we’re not realising this – we haven’t taken responsibility for our own minds, our own thoughts and our own energies; not realising that we ourselves are the problem.

So – this example here, where you believed the master was having disrespect, discontent and hate – is an example of how our mind project ourselves onto another. So, for example – the disrespect, discontent and hate, was actually coming from inside you, from you and so actually show what you experience towards yourself, inside yourself. That you were really feeling disrespect towards yourself, that you were really feeling discontent towards yourself and that you were really feeling hate towards yourself that you have projected onto your master to not see that it is actually you that you are feeling. And so, we lose ourselves in our minds, thinking we are feeling others, but all the while – we’re only feeling ourselves.

Quote: “Then I began to have illusions/voices in my mind -- my seniors scolding me. At first I didn't pay attention to these thoughts, but later I became impatience. I couldn't suppress myself and started spite, blame, argue. So I was talking to myself, I scolded myself, I talk to myself. I was getting more and more afraid day by day.”

How the mind works is as follows: the more and more we participate in our thoughts and energies, the more and more it becomes more intense to the point where thoughts and energies can transform into illusions and more voices.
What humans don’t realise is that – all the illusions, the voices in our heads, we’re actually creating ourselves through participating in our thoughts and energies. The more we participate in our thoughts and energies, the more we are ‘feeding our minds’ and so giving our power/responsibility away to the mind and then the mind starts becoming more and more powerful than us. So – that very relationship we have with our mind as the thoughts and energies where the mind becomes more powerful than us: we create through us not stopping our thoughts and energies and making a decision to live here in the breath with our bodies. So, the more and more we participate in the thoughts and energies, the more powerful the mind becomes and the more powerless we become. So – when illusions and more voices come up in the mind one must know: I have been feeding my mind more power, instead of me stopping my thoughts and energies. Therefore realise that, even illusions are self-created from thoughts and conversations and reactions we’ve had with ourselves in our own minds.

So – it’s time to take your self-power back and no more accept or allow yourself to give your self-power away to the mind. I’m going to assist and support you in showing you how to take your self-power back by walking writing and self forgiveness and how to stop participation in the thoughts and energies to no more feed the mind power, but take responsibility for you and assist and support you to live with your physical body and no more in the mind.

Quote: “I called my master, and every time he just answer me impatiencely. I was very frighten and couldn't explain to him what was going on with me. All I could do was crying. Then he angrily said: You didn't tell me what's the matter and what is such a big deal for keep crying! Then he hanged up. I thought he was almighty, he could know psychic-ly what was going on inside me. He seemed just treat me like a insane.”

So here you have realised for yourself that even ‘masters’ do not really in fact know the truth of what goes on in another’s mind: only you do. And, what you must also realise is that – no other being can help you, unless you help yourself. For example, I am giving you perspective of what happened with you and will show you how to help yourself with walking writing and self forgiveness, but you must take the first steps to stop the thoughts, voices and energies inside yourself with applying the tools of writing and self forgiveness – you will realise you can do it, and only you can do it. So – your ‘master’ could not help you, because your thoughts, voices and energies in your mind is what you created, and because you are the creator of your own mind – only you can change yourself inside yourself. Writing and self forgiveness will show you how to do this – to help yourself with your own mind as thoughts, voices and energies.

Quote: “I couldn't resolve it through my master, then I began to look for help in worshiping bodhisattva. To help calm down my thoughts. Because my thoughts were restless, and they are all negative. I was in deep pain but I couldn't find bodhisattva. My situation kept on deteriorate. More and more illusion, voices, blaming spiting Bodhisattva. Why didn't he response to my pleading for help? I spite bodhisattva but then I was in extreme fear and worry afterwards.”

Have a look here: You created the same relationship towards Bodhisattva as you did towards your previous master – looking for help outside of yourself, instead of realising that only you live inside yourself inside your own mind. And because only you are there inside yourself – only you can help yourself. But, because humans do not realise that ALL the thoughts, voices and energies inside us we create ourselves, and we’re responsible for – we tend to look for help outside of ourselves in wanting others to take away our problems; but in reality it cannot and does not work that way.

And have a look – over time, the thoughts, voices and energies just became more and more and more and this will happen and continue happening unless you stand up inside yourself and stop participation in them and change YOU!
And, if you have a look further, you had the same thoughts, voices and energies of spite, blame towards Bodhisattva as you did towards your previous master, because again you made yourself powerless, inferior and making your master and Bodhisattva more than you inside your mind, instead of realising your own ability to assist and support yourself inside yourself. So, the same experience re-played in your mind with your relationship towards Bodhisattva, where your mind projected your own experiences of spite and blame from yourself onto Bodhisattva.

See – our outside world reflect what is in fact happening inside ourselves. This means that, for example – experiencing spite and blame towards Bodhisattva, was showing that you were in fact experiencing spite and blame towards yourself. And this goes for all people in our world – whatever we experience in our thoughts and energies towards others, in fact reveal what we are experiencing towards ourselves; but our mind project it onto others so we don’t ever realise that we’re never experiencing anyone else but OURSELVES!!! I will show you in the self forgiveness examples I will do for you how to assist and support yourself with ‘seeing yourself in others’, meaning how to investigate, for yourself, the thoughts and energies you have towards others, is in fact showing you that it’s the thoughts and energies you have towards yourself. So, your relationship with your master and Bodhisattva outside of yourself, was showing the relationship you were having with you inside yourself – our outside relationships reflect our inside relationship with ourselves.

Quote: “I fear I'd go to hell because of my daring to spite bodhisattva. Then I have illusions of demons from hell come and want to throne me as a devil. I didn't want to because that would imply I have to kill people. I didn't want to but I felt I was getting more and more difficult to control myself. I feared that one day I would (listen to my thoughts/voices) and actually go harm people out there. So when I still have consciousness, I jumped from my home's 5th floor balcony wanted to end my life. But I didn't die……

Here again the illusions became more, the more and more and more you continued to feed your mind with continuing participating in the thoughts and energies, making the mind more powerful – giving the mind your power, instead of realising that the thoughts and energies of the mind is not in fact more powerful than you. You have made your thoughts and energies more powerful because you have separated yourself from your own thoughts and energies, not realising that your thoughts and energies as the mind is parts of you you haven’t realised is in fact you. And because you haven’t realised that the thoughts and energies are you, you have let the thoughts and energies have power and control over you. And if the mind is left undirected – it can take a life of its own and control us to the extent where it completely takes over everything inside ourselves and we completely lose control of ourselves and our physical bodies – as you have experienced where your thoughts and energies as the mind talked you into ending your own life. See – the mind, the thoughts and the energies are so separate from real reality that it cannot value life, because it is not life. The mind is made from energy – so is the thoughts and the voices.

And if we continue living in the mind, we more and more and more separate ourselves from the real physical reality into an illusionary energy reality and then later on believe that the mind reality is real and completely forget about OURSELVES and this REAL PHYSICAL REALITY. Dying or ending your life is NOT THE SOLUTION. Only YOU are the solution to yourself inside yourself. The self forgiveness and writing I will show you is the tools you use to help you get out of your mind illusion reality of energy back into the actual physical reality so that you can start appreciating you, appreciating living and appreciating being here with yourself and make / become something more of yourself in this world than you ever could have in the mind.

At Desteni – this is what we are walking. Each being walking the process of writing and self forgiveness is assisting and supporting themselves in realising that the mind with all the thoughts, backchats and energies is parts of self we have separated ourselves from. And the only way we are going to clean up the mess inside ourselves in taking responsibility for the separation of ourselves as the mind and ‘find ourselves’ again inside ourselves. Also – the process of self forgiveness and writing assist and support self with stopping participation in the energy of the mind, and so stop creating illusions in the mind to come back here into one’s own physical body and live here in the ‘real world’ that we have separated ourselves from. With writing and self forgiveness one also assist and support oneself with BREATHING. To become aware of your breathing with your body as this will help you to not separate yourself in the mind, in the illusions and energy – but be here in the physical with your body, with yourself.


SOLUTION:
 Okay – I have now explained to you the basics of what you have faced in your own mind and how we create voices and illusions in our own mind. So – let us list the most important points for you to realise:
 1. Thoughts, voices, energies and illusions is parts of ourselves in our own mind we have separated ourselves from.
 2. Thoughts, voices, energies and illusions we experiences towards others is in fact showing/revealing the nature of the relationship we have with ourselves.
3. We have been giving our mind as the thoughts, voices, energies and illusions our power through believing that our mind is more powerful than us, and in that making ourself powerless towards ourselves to change ourselves.
4. To realise that we have the ability to change ourselves inside ourselves through taking back our self power and stopping participation in the mind as the thoughts, voices, illusions and energies.
5. With the tools of writing, self forgiveness and breathing one can assist and support oneself to stop living in the illusions of the mind, and come back to self in one’s own physical body into the real reality that is this physical world we have separated ourselves from as we have lost ourselves in the mind.

Now we will have a look at how self forgiveness works and how to assist and support yourself with self forgiveness with examples I will show you:

First let’s have a look at: WHAT IS SELF FORGIVENESS?
 With having a look at what is self forgiveness we will also look at HOW SELF FORGIVENESS WORKS.

Self-Forgiveness is a tool that one live to assist and support self to take responsibility for one’s mind. With applying self forgiveness, this will assist and support self to realise how you have separated yourselves from your thoughts, voices, energies and illusions and to within that realisation, stop the separation and take back your self-power. One can say, for example that all the thoughts, voices, energies and illusions are like puzzle pieces and we’ve been living like a puzzle in pieces with all the pieces lying all of the place inside ourselves. Self forgiveness assist and support self to take all those pieces of our puzzle as ourselves and put ourselves back together again inside ourselves.

 So – self forgiveness is also the process of ‘finding yourself’ in the lost ness of the mind. Self forgiveness also assist and support us to realise that we have the ability to stop and change ourselves inside ourselves, through making the DECISION to change and to then actually do it. Self forgiveness also assist and support us to realise how we require taking responsibility for ourselves as our mind in realising that we’re only going to change ourselves inside ourselves if WE DO IT OURSELVES.

Realise, that – this is going to be a process. There is no ‘magical quick-fix cure’ for what we face as our mind. This is a ‘different way of life’ that you have to adopt, where every day it’s a process of walking writing, self forgiveness and breathing to put all the pieces of the puzzle inside yourself back together again. As you have realise for yourself throughout your life thus far, looking

for help outside yourself and instantly wanting to fix yourself: this is not how it works. This process of helping yourself is going to take patience and discipline and realising that you are doing this for you. And, putting a puzzle back together again times time, focus, attention – sometimes you make mistakes, but then try again and stand up. This process you will be walking will be the same.

So – let us have a look at how self forgiveness is done:
 Let us take for example the primary point to realise within all of this is realising that you can take back your own self-power and stop participation in the mind through realising that you have to stand up inside yourself. To get to this realisation, one walk self forgiveness as follows:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my mind, not realising that my mind is me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my thoughts, and in that separation didn’t realise that my thoughts are me and that I have the ability to stop and change myself as my thoughts.
 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the energies, not realising that the energies are only becoming more and more and more intense the more and more and more I continue participating in the thoughts and voices that create the energies in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the voices in my head is coming from somewhere else, not realising that the voices is what I created over a long period of time of participating in thinking and energies and so the voices is not separate from me, I created the voices. And if I created the voices – I can stop them.
 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind has more power than me, instead of realising the mind is me and if the mind is me – I can stop and change the mind as me.
 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my self-power away to the mind, the thoughts, the voices, the energies, the illusions and in this separating me from myself into lots of different pieces losing myself in my mind.

Okay, so here are some self forgiveness examples in looking at the relationship we’ve created with ourselves as the mind in separation and in that separation, made the mind more than ourselves. In realising that the mind is parts of ourselves, as pieces of ourselves – we have the ability to assist and support ourselves to stop and change ourselves as the mind.


WHY IS SELF FORGIVENESS NECESSARY?
 As you can see in the statement – we use the words “I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself…”
Speaking self forgiveness is like – ‘saying sorry to yourself’, but in more deep and intimate way. Saying sorry to yourself for separating yourself from yourself, from not realising that you can actually help yourself, from making your life difficult for yourself, from being hard on yourself, from not helping yourself. And in this self forgiveness as ‘saying sorry to yourself’ you then release yourself / set yourself free from your past so that you can help yourself to create a new future for yourself inside yourself. Through self forgiveness, you let go of the burdens of the past in your mind that is haunting you, and set yourself free to take your power back to change yourself, for yourself.
The words “accept and allow” in the self forgiveness statement – let’s have a look at that:

“Acceptance” is how we have accepted our condition in the mind, acceptance is how we continued to enslave ourselves in the mind as being lost as all the pieces of the puzzle. Acceptance is the experience we have allowed that has stopped us from changing ourselves, because – because you ‘accept’ yourself as all the lost pieces, this acceptance then enslaves you to always being lost and eventually you become that acceptance and live that acceptance that you will always remain lost. Therefore we add in the self forgiveness statement “I forgive myself that I have ACCEPTED…” as this assist and support you to stop that acceptance of yourself of always being lost, for example and help you to change that acceptance to a realisation that you can stop the acceptance and CHANGE YOURSELF! So – when you stop accepting yourself as being ‘lost in the mind’ you then realise that you can stop the lostness and find yourself again!

Now “Allowance” is how we have allowed ourselves to continue existing as being lost in the mind, as being powerless. With allowance, it is like saying: “I can’t do anything to change myself, I am lost and powerless and therefore it will always be like this”. So – allowance is like, continuing to exist as the lost puzzle pieces and not doing anything to change it but continue living and being lost. Allowance is how we give our self-power away to the mind, by ALLOWING it and NOT CHANGING it. Therefore we add in the self forgiveness statement: “I forgive myself that I have accepted and ALLOWED…” as this gives one the opportunity to stop the ALLOWANCE as enslavement to one’s current condition and realise that one can take back one’s SELF-POWER and CHANGE.
So – the words in the statement of the self forgiveness is the keys to assisting and supporting self to stop the acceptance as enslavement and allowance as giving away our self-power to the mind and the pieces of ourselves to bring ourselves as the puzzle pieces back together again.

Another tool to help yourself in this process with is: BREATHING. To focus on your breathing with your body, the in-breath and the out-breath will help you in moments when the mind gets too much and the thoughts, voices and illusions become too overwhelming, to ‘bring yourself back to the real reality’ as the physical body. Your breathing with the physical body will help you quiet the mind so that you can become more stable with yourself inside yourself. So – as you are walking this process for yourself as walking out of the mind reality and coming back to yourself help yourself to BREATHE WITH YOUR BODY, to focus on your breathing. You will find the more you practise this, the more easier it will become to stop participation in the mind, the thoughts, the voices and the energies. So, as you are walking your self forgiveness, and walking throughout your day – doing your daily tasks, you can start focusing on your breathing, or when the mind gets too much or too busy, then all you do is sit down with yourself for a moment, and take deep slow breaths, in-breath and out-breath until you feel that the mind is quieting more and more and more and so you help yourself to stop making the mind so busy and overwhelming.

Alright – here I have now explained to you the basics, what’s happened to you, what self forgiveness is, how it done, why it is done and also how you can help yourself with Breathing. Now it is up to YOU. If you make the decision to take back your self-power and help yourself, we can assist and support you for you to be able to assist and support yourself.